• Shaun Monkman

Darley Dale to Matlock - Oct 2021

Saturday, 2nd October 2021


Darley Dale Bridge to Matlock

Written by Clive Edwards

Thanks to Dean and Derek for doing the driving and thanks to Dean, Fay and Derek for the coaching.

The precipitation started as soon as we got to Darley Bridge and didn't ease off until we got off the water at Matlock. Once on the water I don't think we were aware of it.


George (9) led the group with a warm up, with varying enthusiasm. This seemed to bring out the inner child in Fay and made me think about the genes that have been passed on to Nathan.


I have to say it was a really good paddle. Joni and Sonal were clearly making great strides in improving their paddling skills and were showing increasing confidence in moving about on the water. Dan had brought his play boat and as with all play boaters has complete confidence. Steve B quietly got on with paddling moving about the waves with ease. George and Scott were the Dynamic Duo in the two-man kayak. If there was a wave to be rode they were on it. George's extra power gave them easy access to getting into the wave groove. I fell over a rock walking across the grass before I got on the water, got stuck on a rock at the get-out steps and seemed to hit, land on and get stuck on every other rock between Darley Bridge and Matlock.


On the way home we stopped at a Fish & Chip Takeaway. I'm not sure if you are familiar with such emporium so here is a brief description.

On walking in, there was a comfortable seating area, a long counter (DO NOT LEAN ON) behind which you can see the 'chefs' busily preparing the food which is portrayed in wonderful appetizing photos above the counter. There is a clear menu giving sizes and prices. The food was delivered at the end of the counter in polystyrene containers.

Dean had something that was was chip based coated in some sort of used engine oil. I couldn't see a photo of this!!! Whatever he ate it with relish (perhaps the oil was the relish).

Derek, like Dean had chips but with something about an inch in diameter and four inches long coated in batter??? Again no photo of this.


After long deliberation I went for Chips-large. Yes I know I'm innocent in the way of these things, but think of elephants.

Elephants -small -regular -large.

Immediately you have a picture of individual elephants being of different sizes. So-

Chips -small -regular -large.

So in ordering a portion of LARGE chips I expected a polystyrene container of LARGE chips. Not a LARGE polystyrene container of regular chips. No photo of this.


Great day out, thanks to everyone.

Just a final thanks to Anneka who explained, on Thursday night, how to use my buttocks.




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